From Acts to Galatians... catching up

This is kind of how I have been feeling lately. College seems to be a HUGE self-discovery period for me. I learn something new about myself all the time it seems. Last year I learned I was very negative, pessimistic, and anti-social. This year I've learned (before classes have even started) that I stress out about EVERYTHING. I hate it because I feel like a burden to everyone I am around. So then that makes me even more stressed. It's a problem I can't figure out how to shake. So I have a lot of chocolate in my dorm... and if I'm not careful it's gonna be devoured quickly.

I've been reading through the Bible with a friend and finally got caught up today. That's one stress reliever. I am calm, cool, and relaxed when things are in order. But if things are out of order or I don't have a general idea of the plan... it stresses me out. I'm the kind of person I always said I never wanted to be.

Anyway... reading through Romans and 1 Corinthians to catch up on Bible reading has been awesome. Those books of the Bible really hit me with a lot of truth and encouragement about God. Romans is a very theologically challenging book, but it is full of practical advice. They struck me differently as I read them this time because it's something I've been challenged about this summer. Romans 2:1 says: "Therefore you have no excuse, everyone of you who passes judgment, for in that which you judge another, you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things." I saw a lot of hypocrisy in my life this past year and so reading this verse just kind of challenged me that even though I've changed my behavior especially during this summer, I need to continually be reminded of this truth. I can't demand something from someone that I am not doing myself. That's judgment, that's hypocrisy, and that's wrong.

Another verse that struck me as I read was Romans 2:11: "For there is no partiality with God." This is a simple verse but it's really something I ignore a lot, even if it's subconsciously. I show a lot of partiality based on my level of comfort... but that's not godly behavior. God shows NO partiality and I'm supposed to be imitiating Him.

It was also really cool just to familiarize myself with the "Romans Road" again--the verses in Romans that basically tell someone why they need Christ and how to make Him their LORD.

Romans 5:3-5 present a great challenge to Christians as well. Tribulations bring about perseverance. That's such a tough reminder because I hate tribulations. Ha! I don't like for things to be hard on me. I'm in the middle of a bunch of mini problems I guess and it's really miserable. I am happy and content in my relationship with God, but I'd be even happier if I didn't have this constant pressure. So I just have to remember what verse 4 says... that perseverance brings character, character brings hope and hope doesn't disappoint because God's love fills our heart through the Holy Spirit.

Then that's where Romans 6:14 comes in... sin is not my master! So even though during these times of pressure and stress and tribulation, I don't have to sin. I am freed from sin because I am God's child. So I don't have to cave under sin's pressure. It's so hard, and one of the most difficult challenges a Christian faces--that constant inner battle between flesh and Spirit--I think. But then Romans 6:18 brings a challenge: "And having been freed from sin, you became slaves of righteousness." I'm free from sin and now I am enslaved to righteousness! As a slave I must do that which is righteous. Friend, that is OH SO HARD. Romans 7:18 explains why: "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not." We want to do that what is good, but because of our sin nature we are unable to do it on our own! So even though it seems like we are doing all the work, Jesus is really the one who has fought for us by dying on the cross for our sin. He paid the penalty already and I am free from sin. I am not obligated to do what it wills anymore. I am free to do the good I want to do and because of Christ, I can.

And I think Paul sums up his life purpose in Romans 8:18. This verse, if you think about it for a while, really brings a lot of peace. I'm preaching to myself basically because when I really let this verse sink into the depths of my heart, it relieves all my stress and brings such peace. It says: "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us."

Anything I suffer in this life is NOTHING compared to how awesome the glory of eternal life in heaven with God will be. I lose sight of this so much in my walk with Christ. I get so caught up in the here and now. I want to be focused on what truly matters. That's what I hope I can work on during this year at school. Taking my focus off of me and my selfishness and focusing entirely on how awesome God is and His promise of eternal life. :)

Adventures in Cooking

Occasionally this summer I've been able to try my hand at cooking. This skill is one I want to improve before I enter a world of running my own house. ;) I cooked chicken yesterday, but no one was around, or hungry enough, to eat it... so I was stuck with a whole tupperware container full of chicken. I decided to make BBQ Shredded Chicken Sandwiches. I quickly Googled "how to shred chicken" and found a simple way to do it. I heated the chicken up in the microwave, used two forks to tear it in different directions, coated it in BBQ sauce and then heated it some more. The end result was a very tasty sandwich and satisfied stomachs! :) I love accomplishing something new in my cooking endeavors... more to come later. :)

A Call to Die

God has been showing me lately how much greater He is than the things I have in this world. The thing that consumes me most in the world is love. Romantic movies, songs about love, love stories, relationships... this stuff consumes me. More than half of both my movie and music collection has to do with romance and practically all of my books do. I notice too that when I need comfort or a "pick-me-up" I'll turn to a love story before I'll turn to God's love letter to me, His Word. There are so many truths in God's Word that if I really were to listen to and believe them, they'd satisfy me so much more than any romantic movie could.

Jeremiah 15:16 says: "Your words were found and I ate them, and Your words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart; for I have been called by Your name, O LORD God of hosts." God's Word can and should be the delight of my heart. This is something I struggle with because I feel like I deserve a pity party. When I'm feeling sad, I think that I have every right to sit and drown my sorrows in a candy bar and a love story. That is so self-centered. I felt that way today and was even told what was true... that God has situations in our lives that are difficult to teach us and that someday it WILL work out for good... but I rejected that truth and instead felt vindicated in my attitude... I had a reason for my sorrow and negativity.

I don't.

Christ's cross is the reason I don't. He came and died on the cross for all of my sins and sorrows. He came and set me free. That brings joy that will last forever!

I've been reading through the Bible with a friend and we finally made it to the New Testament! We're in Matthew right now, and a passage that never seems to get old for me is in chapter 5. It's part of the Beatitudes and it says: "You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you. You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." This is something that God is continually trying to get me to grasp. I don't think that this translates only to our enemies--people that don't like us and want to see us fall--but I think it also translates to friends who hurt you, family members who anger you, and people who don't like you. When I'm faced with evil... I need to respond in the way Christ teaches here. I don't need to retaliate or say nasty things about them, but I need to respond in kindness. This is something that I constantly struggle with and see that God is constantly showing me what I need to be doing when I fail.

Part of dying to myself involves letting go of my selfish desires. My selfish desire is to retaliate or make myself feel better by saying something mean about that person behind their back... but God's desire is to say something kind to them or help them out.

As God is teaching me, He's filling my heart with a desire for Him stronger than I've had before. He's slowly working on my heart, and I'm trying as only a fallen person can to follow Him. I fail an awful lot... but God in His grace helps me get back up and keep going. I hope that one day I can be even slightly like the kind of person that God wants me to be.

"Your grace is amazing to me...
Your love is still such a wonder...
Your cross is still bringing me to my knees, Oh God...
You still amaze me."
- You Still Amaze Me; Rebecca St. James

Life is war 'til the day we die.

I'm writing this to help me organize my thoughts. I'm not writing this to point a finger at anyone but myself. I hope that this encourages you and strengthens you in your walk with God.

In Romans 8:12-17, it talks about killing sin. It says:

"So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh--for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!" The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him."

That's a big chunk. Let it sink in for a minute. I'm doing it too.

...

Okay. Verse 12 says that we are not under obligation to the flesh. This means, according to John Piper, that I owe the flesh NOTHING. I have been freed from sin through the death of Christ on the cross, so I owe the flesh absolutely NOTHING! God is the One who freed me. I owe Him EVERYTHING.

How do I do this? I need to make war against my sin. This making war concept is what I am stuck on. The Christian life is not easy. Being a Christian means being in constant battle with sin. Because Jesus Christ died for me on the cross that means that my old nature--sin--is constantly fighting to try and get me back under his power. But my new nature--Christ--is fighting against that sin. My flesh will not quit in this life. It won't get easier, or lighten up. I must constantly be waging war against sin. Life is WAR 'til the day I die.

Am I a Christian? Am I committed to God and this war against sin? According to Romans 8:8, the flesh cannot please God; so, as long as I am giving into the desires of the flesh--sin--I cannot please God. I've got to commit and KILL my sin. It's not a game. This is serious and this is war. I have to KILL my sin if I want to please God. Why is this hard? Because sin is fighting for his reign over me! I can't be lazy, I can't be passive. I have to be ready, prepared with my sword to fight and KILL my sin.

HOW do I kill my sin?

John Piper gave three points in a sermon on killing sin, and I want to share them with you.

Point #1: Set your minds on the things of the Spirit. What are the things of the Spirit?
Point #2: The killing of the flesh is done by the Sword of the Spirit--the Word of God.

Point #3: What do I do to bring out the fighting power of the Spirit? Hear with faith.

Here's how he broke down point #3. This hearing with faith means to listen. It means I must grab hold of truths about God and believe them! I have to cling to the truth in God's Word--truth about God, promises He has made. He uses Galatians 3:5 as this reference. It says:

"So then, does He who provides you with the Spirit and works miracles among you, do it by the works of the Law, or by hearing with faith?"

This takes us all the way back to our salvation. When I was saved I was told to confess with my mouth that Jesus was LORD and believe in my heart that God raised Him from the dead. (Romans 10:9) The verse right after that states that "for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness..." By simply hearing truths and believing them... THAT leads to righteousness.

He gave some examples:

- When I am afraid, I go to Isaiah 41:10: "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God." It's not simply hearing the truth, it is hearing the truth and believing it.

- When I worry, I go to John 14:1: "Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me." Or I can go to Psalm 62:8: "Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us."

- When I am angry, I go to Romans 12:17: "Never pay back evil for evil to anyone." Or I go to Proverbs 15:1: "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

- When I am proud, I go to Jeremiah 9:24: "But let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the LORD who exercises lovingkindness, justice and rightieousness on earth; for I delight in these things," declares the LORD."

- When I am impatient, I go to Psalm 27:14: "Wait for the LORD; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the LORD."

- When I am irritable I remember Psalm 145:8-9: "The LORD is gracious and merciful; slow to anger and great in lovingkindness. The LORD is good to all, and His mercies are over all His works." When I am irritable, I need to remember God's attribute of being slow to anger, and good to all. I need to cling to that truth and hold onto it with all of my might!

- Whem I am weary, I go to Psalm 63:8: "My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me." Or I go to Psalm 34:18: "The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

- When I want to give up, I go to Psalm 34:19: "Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all." Or I go to Psalm 37:24: "When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, because the LORD is the One who holds his hand."

- When I feel overwhelmed at what seems impossible, faith says in Matthew 19:26: "And looking at them Jesus said to them, 'With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." THAT is letting God fight for us. It is us letting go of our control on things and giving God the control. It is giving God the glory because now we know that we can't do it, but God can.

- When I feel alone I go to Hebrews 13:5: "Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, "I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you." We can be content when we feel alone because this promise says that God will never leave us or forsake us. Money and possessions will leave us, but God will be with us always.

These may be redundant Bible verses that you've heard a million times, but stop hearing and listen. Grab on and believe these truths! Kill sin with the sword of the Spirit--God's Word. I need to be proactive in memorizing God's Word. It is a lot easier to fight when you can have your weapon ready at a moment's notice. I need to memorize verses that will help me combat sin. I need to pray and constantly take every thought captive. I have to set my mind on the things of the Spirit (the things above, God's Word, Philippians 4:8).

And I will end this blog with that verse to encourage us in our battle with sin.

"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." - Philippians 4:8

Wage war on your sin. Fight it to the end with your weapon in hand. Owe NOTHING to the flesh but owe EVERYTHING to God.

I get back up again.

The enemy likes to kick us when we're down. He pulverizes us until we are ready to quit, yet comes back with even more to fight with. He never seems to grow tired, and we are constantly battling him.

At the end of Karate Kid III, Daniel Larusso is fighting at the All-Valley Tournament against Mike Barnes of the Cobra Kai dojo. Mike is strong. He fights with power and force. He fights hard, and shows no mercy--the motto of the Cobra Kai dojo. While fighting in the final fight of the tournament, Mike attacks Daniel. He pounds Daniel with punch after punch, kick after kick. He uses both legal and illegal moves in the rule book of the Tournament. Daniel falls, but every time he gets back up. The match ends on a tie--0 to 0--and Daniel stays down. The sudden death round is next, like over time in a basketball game. Mr. Miyagi, Daniel's trainer, runs over and gets down on the floor next to him. He tells Daniel he must get up, and Daniel screams "I'm afraid! It's over! I want to go home!" Mr. Miyagi tells Daniel, "It is okay to lose to opponent, not okay to lose to fear!" And Daniel continues to scream that he is afraid. Mr. Miyagi silences him by telling him that his best karate is still inside. Mr. Miyagi gets up and walks back to his place in the audience. Daniel continues to lay on the ground. Mike, Daniel's opponent, gets down on the ground next to Daniel and taunts him. "You're nothing! You're worthless! Your teacher is worthless! Your karate isn't worth anything! You're nothing! He's nothing! Your karate's nothing!" Slowly, Daniel gets up and returns to his line. He turns to bow to his instructor, and then inhales deeply. When the call is made to fight, he starts doing a Kata exercise. The use of Kata in this fight is unusual, and Mike hesitates for a moment. He doesn't know what to do. Daniel calmly continues to do Kata. Mike's trainers are screaming from the sidelines for him to throw a punch and get a point, but Mike still hesitates. Daniel pulls back into a fighting position, and Mike does too. Mike lunges and Daniel grabs his arm, flipping him on his back. With a punch to the rib cage, Daniel wins a point and the match!

This reminded me of our walk with Christ. So many times we are discouraged. We battle constant negative thoughts that taunt us, "You're ugly. You're worthless. You'll never amount to anything. You should just give up while you're ahead. You can't do this. You're a failure." We reach our lowest point and can't see how we'll go on. The story usually ends there in tragedy. But there is hope! Christ comes to us and reminds us that we aren't finished! We have more left. We tell Him that we're afraid, and that we want to quit and return to our safe place, but he encourages us. He tells us that we may be knocked down, but He is there and He is our strength! We may not be able to keep fighting on our own, but we can keep fighting with Christ by our side.

Psalm 40:1-2; 12; 17

"I waited patiently for the LORD; and He inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, and He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm."

"For evils beyond number have surrounded me; my iniquities have overtaken me, so that I am not able to see; they are more numerous than the hairs of my head, and my heart has failed me."

"Since I am afflicted and needy, let the LORD be mindful of me. You are my help and my deliverer; do not delay, O my God."

If you want a more inspiring visual, here is the video clip. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTIu_aWSf6M (there is a little bit of language at the part where Mike is down on the floor taunting Daniel).

Saying no to syncretism.

I learned about syncretism in my Old Testament survey class. It's the combination or fusion of different forms of beliefs and/or practices. In 2 Kings 17:33 (yes... I finally made it here!) it says: "They feared the LORD and served their own gods according to the custom of the nations from among whom they had been carried away into exile." And in verse 41: "So while these nations feared the LORD, they also served their idols, their children likewise and their grandchildren, as their fathers did, so they do to this day." When I was reading this, I realized that I'm just like the people of Israel. They were trying to fit God into the holes that their other gods didn't fill. They were serving God... but they were also serving themselves, and in the end they always wound up rejecting God. "To this day they do according to the earlier customs: they do not fear the LORD, nor do they follow their statutes or their ordinances or the law. or the commandments which the LORD commanded the sons of Jacob, whom He named Israel" (vs. 34). We can't just fit God in... we have to give Him a place in our lives. That's something I'm starting to realize more and more as I read through the Old Testament, and study at school. School, work, and friends may keep me busy, but God has got to come first. I can't just find a spot for Him at the end... because at the end there won't be any room. I have to give God a spot first and then fit the rest in. I can't serve two masters. "No one can serve two masters; for either he wil hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth" (Matthew 6:24).

I want to choose to say NO to syncretism. I don't give God enough alone time. I figure "I can text in between reading verses", or "this music is worship music after all... it won't distract me that much!" I think that God deserves at least 5 minutes without a cell phone buzz interrupting my time with Him - God deserves SO much more than that. He sent His Son to die on a cross for me... even though He knew that I would put other things before Him, even though I know that He is the most important thing in my life.

Christmas is getting closer and this is the perfect time to remember this. Christmas is the time we celebrate the gift of God to us - His Son. I want God to hold a special place in my heart and in my life. I want Him to be first. Say no to syncretism and put God first.

You don't define me.

I've heard it said that girls need to stop finding their worth in guys. I, on my ever humble soapbox, thought "I'll NEVER be that kind of girl." Well, here I am realizing that I do it ALL the time. It's why when there's a thunderstorm that no amount of comfort from my girl friends will do it - one word from a guy will. When I'm lonely, no matter how many girl friends that are in my room, the only thing that will make it better is hanging out with or talking to a guy. I'm sick and tired of it. Yes... guys are awesome. Why else would I always want to hang out with them? But guys CAN'T be the ones who define me anymore. Preventing this will require some tough steps from me... I have to remember this every time I get that feeling of loneliness or fear. God is the only One who can take away those feelings, fill the void, and make me whole. Even if I get married, something might happen to the man I marry. I have to be whole without him, otherwise without him I'll be nothing. That's not the kind of relationship God has in mind for me. God wants me to love him FIRST, and then He'll bless me with a special man to spend the rest of my life on earth with.

In Isaiah 62:4 it says: It will no longer be said to you, "Forsaken," Nor to your land will it any longer be said, "Desolate"; But you will be called, "My delight is in her," And your land, "Married"; For the LORD delights in you, And to Him your land will be married." God had delivered the people of Zion from their sinful, wicked place in life. He rescued them and desired to change them! God no longer saw them as broken, alone, or without hope, but He saw them in His light. He saw them as beautiful creatures that He created! He wanted to change their name to Hephzibah (My delight is in her) because He loved them.

God feels the same way about me! He didn't create me to be fulfilled by a man. He created me to help a man with the thing God had chosen for him to do.

I no longer want my name to be Forsaken and Desolate, but Hephzibah because God delights in me. He defines me.

Mirror I am seeing a new reflection

I'm looking into the eyes

of He who made me

And to Him I have beauty beyond compare

I know He defines me.
Who are you to tell me that I'm

less than what I should be?

Who are you?
I don't need to listen to the

list of things I should do. I won't try.
No, I won't try.

Barlow Girl ~ Mirror