A Call to Die

God has been showing me lately how much greater He is than the things I have in this world. The thing that consumes me most in the world is love. Romantic movies, songs about love, love stories, relationships... this stuff consumes me. More than half of both my movie and music collection has to do with romance and practically all of my books do. I notice too that when I need comfort or a "pick-me-up" I'll turn to a love story before I'll turn to God's love letter to me, His Word. There are so many truths in God's Word that if I really were to listen to and believe them, they'd satisfy me so much more than any romantic movie could.

Jeremiah 15:16 says: "Your words were found and I ate them, and Your words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart; for I have been called by Your name, O LORD God of hosts." God's Word can and should be the delight of my heart. This is something I struggle with because I feel like I deserve a pity party. When I'm feeling sad, I think that I have every right to sit and drown my sorrows in a candy bar and a love story. That is so self-centered. I felt that way today and was even told what was true... that God has situations in our lives that are difficult to teach us and that someday it WILL work out for good... but I rejected that truth and instead felt vindicated in my attitude... I had a reason for my sorrow and negativity.

I don't.

Christ's cross is the reason I don't. He came and died on the cross for all of my sins and sorrows. He came and set me free. That brings joy that will last forever!

I've been reading through the Bible with a friend and we finally made it to the New Testament! We're in Matthew right now, and a passage that never seems to get old for me is in chapter 5. It's part of the Beatitudes and it says: "You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you. You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." This is something that God is continually trying to get me to grasp. I don't think that this translates only to our enemies--people that don't like us and want to see us fall--but I think it also translates to friends who hurt you, family members who anger you, and people who don't like you. When I'm faced with evil... I need to respond in the way Christ teaches here. I don't need to retaliate or say nasty things about them, but I need to respond in kindness. This is something that I constantly struggle with and see that God is constantly showing me what I need to be doing when I fail.

Part of dying to myself involves letting go of my selfish desires. My selfish desire is to retaliate or make myself feel better by saying something mean about that person behind their back... but God's desire is to say something kind to them or help them out.

As God is teaching me, He's filling my heart with a desire for Him stronger than I've had before. He's slowly working on my heart, and I'm trying as only a fallen person can to follow Him. I fail an awful lot... but God in His grace helps me get back up and keep going. I hope that one day I can be even slightly like the kind of person that God wants me to be.

"Your grace is amazing to me...
Your love is still such a wonder...
Your cross is still bringing me to my knees, Oh God...
You still amaze me."
- You Still Amaze Me; Rebecca St. James