I wanna give you the world

"But then I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there. I will return her vineyards to her and transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope. She will give herself to me there, as she did long ago when she was young, when I freed her from captivity in Egypt. When that day comes," says the Lord, "you will call me 'my husband' instead of 'my master.' . . . . I will make you my wife forever, showing you righteousness and justice, unfailing love and compassion. I will be faithful to you and make you mine, and you will finally know me as the Lord." - Hosea 2: 6-8, 13b-16, 19-20

 

Do you ever feel like you're stuck in the desert? Dry. Angry. Irritated. Worn out. I've felt that way for the past week. Physically exhausted. An emotional wreck. A mess. Then I went to West Virginia. Here I've been cut off from technology. Stuck in a signal-less "wilderness" with only my feelings. When I got two hours by myself, I started searching God's word. I was in James, then I was in Proverbs, and then I ended up in Hosea. What a journey that was.

 

In James 4:1-10, I wanted to figure out what causes fights and conflicts. According to verse 1, it's my pleasures and evil desires--what I want. The other verses reminded me of things I knew but had forgotten, but then I got to James 4:9. It says, "Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy." James is talking about my reaction to my sin.

 

Then I started to think about what is an abomination to God. What does God hate? What can't He stand? In Proverbs 6, it says he can't stand haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands shedding innocent blood, a heart devising wicked plans, feet running to evil, false witness, and the spreading of strife. Unfortunately, as I read that I realized I had been struggling with several of these this past week.

 

I got to Hosea chapter 2 and I began to understand. I had forgotten God. I'd left Him in the dust. I'd moved on in my life without Him. He did exactly what He said He was going to do in Hosea 2. He exposed my evil to my lovers. He brought me into the wilderness (my wilderness was West Virginia) and spoke kindly to me through a song that is designed to be sung as a love song from a husband to his wife. And I was broken.

Hosea chapter 2 communicates how deeply God loves me. And I can't believe that I can act the way I do and leave Him behind.

If there is one thing I've learned from this trip to the "wilderness" it's that God loves me immensely. And I can have a relationship with Him that is beyond the superficial churchgoer. This relationship is supposed to be like a relationship with a lover. And that's how God desires me. I want to come to know God in a way that I desire Him that way too.

Please pray for me, my friends. I know God can do a great work, but I need to turn from my pride and selfishness and start to really seek after Him.