I wanna give you the world

"But then I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there. I will return her vineyards to her and transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope. She will give herself to me there, as she did long ago when she was young, when I freed her from captivity in Egypt. When that day comes," says the Lord, "you will call me 'my husband' instead of 'my master.' . . . . I will make you my wife forever, showing you righteousness and justice, unfailing love and compassion. I will be faithful to you and make you mine, and you will finally know me as the Lord." - Hosea 2: 6-8, 13b-16, 19-20

 

Do you ever feel like you're stuck in the desert? Dry. Angry. Irritated. Worn out. I've felt that way for the past week. Physically exhausted. An emotional wreck. A mess. Then I went to West Virginia. Here I've been cut off from technology. Stuck in a signal-less "wilderness" with only my feelings. When I got two hours by myself, I started searching God's word. I was in James, then I was in Proverbs, and then I ended up in Hosea. What a journey that was.

 

In James 4:1-10, I wanted to figure out what causes fights and conflicts. According to verse 1, it's my pleasures and evil desires--what I want. The other verses reminded me of things I knew but had forgotten, but then I got to James 4:9. It says, "Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy." James is talking about my reaction to my sin.

 

Then I started to think about what is an abomination to God. What does God hate? What can't He stand? In Proverbs 6, it says he can't stand haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands shedding innocent blood, a heart devising wicked plans, feet running to evil, false witness, and the spreading of strife. Unfortunately, as I read that I realized I had been struggling with several of these this past week.

 

I got to Hosea chapter 2 and I began to understand. I had forgotten God. I'd left Him in the dust. I'd moved on in my life without Him. He did exactly what He said He was going to do in Hosea 2. He exposed my evil to my lovers. He brought me into the wilderness (my wilderness was West Virginia) and spoke kindly to me through a song that is designed to be sung as a love song from a husband to his wife. And I was broken.

Hosea chapter 2 communicates how deeply God loves me. And I can't believe that I can act the way I do and leave Him behind.

If there is one thing I've learned from this trip to the "wilderness" it's that God loves me immensely. And I can have a relationship with Him that is beyond the superficial churchgoer. This relationship is supposed to be like a relationship with a lover. And that's how God desires me. I want to come to know God in a way that I desire Him that way too.

Please pray for me, my friends. I know God can do a great work, but I need to turn from my pride and selfishness and start to really seek after Him.

When you feel like a failure...

This song is a great reminder of these truths...

 

I started reading the book of John this morning. I was searching for who Jesus is in the descriptions of Him as God incarnate and I started a list:

• He has always been with God.
• He made all things come into being.
• He is full of life.
• He shines through darkness.
• The world didn't know Him.
• The world didn't receive Him.
• He gave the right to become children of God to those who did receive Him.
• He became flesh and lived among us.
• He was full of GRACE and TRUTH.
• He takes away our sin.
• There was no deceit in Him.
• He zealously defended God's house.
• He knows what is in our hearts.
• He came to save, not to judge (John 3:17).
• He was full of the Spirit.
• He can give eternal life.
• He is powerful.
• He only did what the Father did.
• He gives life.
• He does everything in accordance with the Father's will.
• He knows all things. 

The first thing that stuck out to me as I read was that God knows everything about us (John 2:25). He knows the good and He knows the bad. He knows it, first, because He is God and God knows everything, and He knows it because He lived as one of us! He was God, but He was also man. He experienced things just as we do.

Even though He knows the evil that lives inside of us, ". . . God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." God sent His Son, Jesus, not to judge and condemn us, but to save us (John 3:16-17).

 

This got me thinking... God sent Jesus to save us so that we might have eternal life and if we believe in Him, we have it. It's as simple as that... and yet we strive and strive to do things the right way because God will look on us with favor. In John 5:29-30 it says, "You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; it is these that testify about Me; and you are unwilling to come to Me so that you may have life." These verses are saying that we are caught up in the wrong things! In my life, I don't pray very often because I don't want to pray until I know I'm doing it right. I also don't like to have devotions because I feel like I have to get my schedule under control before I can have proper devotions. This verse challenged me that there is no "right" way. We are fallen creatures and are lost without Jesus. When He came to die on the cross, He took care of all of my "rightness complex." Jesus knew everything about me, came to save me, and wiped my slate clean! I can come to Him in prayer even if it may not be the best. I can do devotions today because He only wants me to come to Him.

 

One of the last verses I read had a profound impact on me: "So Jesus said to them, 'My time is not yet here, but your time is always opportune.'" (John 7:6). This is almost like a warning, but more of an encouragement. Jesus knew there was still time for people to come to Him. It applied then and it applied now. While we are living on this earth, we STILL have time to come to Him. Whether that means we come to Him for the first time and seek a relationship with Him, or whether we come to Him after time and time again of feeling like a failure. Our time to come to Jesus is always opportune.

Will you heed this encouragement? Take the time today to come to Jesus... it'll be the best choice you ever make!

Marriage: A picture of the Christian life

I just got married on Saturday. In the final weeks of preparation and on the week of my honeymoon, I have been hit again and again by the parallels and connections of marriage to my relationship with God.

The proposal

 

This is when the guy saves his money, buys an expensive ring, plans a special day, and "pops the question." He asks, "Will you marry me?" Jesus did this when He came to earth and died for us. He gave up His throne in heaven, came down to earth as a human being, and gave His life to make a way for me to spend eternity with Him. When He came to earth, Jesus asked, "Will you marry me?"

 



I said "Yes!"

 

This happens right after the proposal; the girl, filled with excitement, happily says "Yes!" This yes sets everything else in motion. The guy is on his knee waiting, but he cannot act until she responds. In my Christian life, this happened when I was eleven. I finally became aware of Jesus being there waiting, asking me to trust Him. All I had to was say yes.

 

Wedding planning

 

This is the time after the proposal. It may be months, it may be years. The bride becomes consumed by wedding details. There's the dress, the flowers, the cake, the caterer, the decorations, the music, and on and on. The bride spends as much time as she can to prepare for the wedding day so that it can be perfect. As I was planning my wedding, I started to think that our earthly life is a lot like planning for a wedding! There is growing, there are relationships, there is joy, and there is pain. In this earthly life, I am preparing myself to be ready for my groom, Jesus Christ.

 

The ceremony

 

This is where all of the wedding plan comes to a head. The day is finally here. All of your plans fit together and you get to enjoy it. You present yourself to your groom in a white dress. You vow yourself to him, promising to be true to him. I've started to think of the ceremony as my transition from earth to heaven. On earth, I am spending my time preparing myself to be ready for heaven. When the time comes for me to go to heaven, I will get to see my preparation come to a conclusion as I am joined with my heavenly love.

 



The reception

 

This is where you get to celebrate your marriage with friends and family who have spent time helping you prepare, awaiting the day you would be joined with your husband. In the Christian life, I think this is the marriage feast in heaven. The church, Christ's bride, will finally be joined with Him, and we will celebrate at the marriage feast.



The honeymoon

 

This is the time after the wedding is over. You and your husband dedicate a length of time (typically a week) to spend with each other, getting to know each other more intimately. It is a time of joy. In the Christian life, I feel very strongly that heaven will be like a honeymoon. In heaven, we will spend eternity being intimately connected with God. We will have all the time in the world to get to know Him and to have a relationship with Him.

 

In John 17:3, Jesus prayed, "This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent." Jesus understood that eternal life meant having a relationship with God. Although I can't comprehend it all, I am so excited that God has started revealing things about Him to me. I'm looking forward to how much more I can learn about God through my marriage.

Why trials?

I'd encourage you to listen to this song while you read: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67NOWLH-Nc4

". . . do you not find in your walk with Jesus Christ that when things go well there seems to be a time of spiritual plateau, but when problems come you are more likely to increase your faith?"

I started reading a book called Becoming friend with God and it hit me when I read this that God allows problems in our life only because He loves us. He knows that we need to have faith in order to experience eternal life with Him. Oft
en times we think we can do it on our own when things are going good. We tend to forget God and just live life in our happy little bubble. But when trials come we tend to focus on God and rely on Him to get us through. When trials come we often have more faith because we are looking to God for strength.

This encouraged me because it made me remember that God allows these trials because He knows its the best way to strengthen our faith in Him. His desire is for us to share in eternal life with Him. I've sometimes wondered why God even makes us go through things on earth if the ultimate goal is heaven... but I think this is why--we have a choice. We have to choose God. When things are going well we may not always choose God and so He allows trials to come into our lives because it drives us closer to Him. He doesn't allow trials in our lives because we did something wrong and He wants us to be punished for it... God allows these difficult things in our lives because He loves us, wants us to be with Him forever, and this is how He sees best to make "all things work together for good" (Romans 8:28).

After reading this, I was encouraged and reminded to have faith. God loves me and I WILL make it through. There will be an end to these troubles but until that day comes, I can PRAISE God because He is trying to draw me closer to Him!

Advent: Hope

"At its heart, the concept is simple--Jesus trusted His Father. He didn't doubt God's goodness, His control of the situation, or the fact that His plan would lead to everlasting glory. That's what Jesus is asking you to do too. Trust God, even in this." -- The Healer

 

Advent season begins with the "hope" candle. Before Christ was born, the people looked forward (hoped) to that event. They were waiting for a coming Messiah. They were waiting for deliverance. Ultimately, Christ's coming as a baby brought everlasting hope, peace, joy, and love because His coming signified the fulfillment of a long awaited promise.

 

"Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was on him. It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord’s Messiah. Moved by the Spirit, he went into the temple courts. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to do for him what the custom of the Law required, Simeon took him in his arms and praised God, saying: “Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you may now dismiss your servant in peace. For my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the sight of all nations: a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and the glory of your people Israel.” -- Luke 2: 25-32


Simeon hoped for the coming Messiah. Once he witnessed what he was promised, he was at peace. Lately, I have experienced a lack of peace in my life. When Thanksgiving Break, I was trying to figure out a new way to embrace peace and hope. I came to the realization that even though I don't understand everything--even though I don't understand most things--I have hope because I know the truth about God. In 2 Corinthians 3:12 it says, "Since we have such a hope, we are very bold" (ESV). The hope I have in God should be my strength each day. I should be bold in living life because I have a hope in God.

I found this prayer connected the first advent candle and I liked it: “Lord, the light I choose to let into my life today is based on my trust in you.  It is a weak flame, but I so much desire that it dispel a bit more darkness today.  Today, I just want to taste the longing I have for you as I go to the meeting this morning, carry out the responsibilities of my work, face the frustration of some difficult relationships.  Let this candle be my reminder today of my hope in your coming.” Christ's coming signified the ultimate defeat of sin and darkness. Whatever I face that may try to steal my hope has no power because Christ came to give the world eternal hope!

Coping

"If I gave up, he would win."

 

Every day feels like a constant battle. One moment, things are going great and I'm feeling positive and happy, and the next minute I am derailed by a dark and empty apartment. I have gotten frustrated by the constant battle and have wanted to stop trying to get away from it and just let it consume me. I've been reading a book by Dee Henderson called Danger in the Shadows. It's about a rescued kidnapping victim who is still being stalked by her kidnapper. She deals with heavy security, intense fear, and frequent panic attacks. In the most recent chapter, she had an interesting conversation with a friend.

 

". . . How do you deal with this? What gets you back to work on the same day a crisis hits? I saw it the first day we met, and I'm seeing it again today."

 

There was an entire part to Sara that he didn't comprehend. If the trauma of last night didn't knock her down, what if anything ever would?

 

"Adam, I've got great coping skills. Don't mistake that for strength. I deal with the situation because I have no choice. Keeping moving is part of coping. If I let any one crisis stop me, I doubt I would ever move again, they happen so frequently. I have a lifetime of them behind me. . . . Adam, God never gives more than I can handle. . . . I'm really good at praying, 'God, keep me safe.'"

 

It drew an answering smile from him. Adam turned his hand over to grasp hers. "I don't understand why you should have to live like this. It makes no sense that this would be part of God's plan."

 

She took another drink of the hot tea he had brought her. "Dave likes to quote that Scripture from Romans 11 that says: 'How unsearchable are [God's] judgments and how inscrutable his ways!' I don't know when this will end. Honestly, I wonder sometimes if it will be old age. He'll get old and die and the threat will be gone. I may get twenty years of freedom at the end of my life. That's what I hold on to, Adam. A dream of someday being free. . . . didn't you once tell me your dad taught you to play football one down at a time? To focus on the moment?"

 

"Yes."

 

"That's how I have to live my life. One day at a time. I can cope, as long as I never let the big picture overwhelm me."

 

Adam smiled. One play at a time. He had spent a career focusing with that single-minded intensity. If that was what it took to live life while under siege, it could be done. He squeezed her hand. "Thanks, Sara."

 

"For what?"

 

"Not giving up."

 

. . . she quietly said, "Adam, if I gave up, I would lose what I do have. Ellen's upcoming wedding. Finishing this children's book. Going out to dinner with you. If I gave up, he would win" (pp. 210-212).

 

Too many times I let the big picture overwhelm me. I am focused on something in the future that I can't understand yet, and so I lose what I have now. I lose the moment. Part of coping--part of living life--is just doing what you need to do to get through.

 

As a child, I dealt with intense anxiety. I constantly told myself what Scripture says in Matthew 6:25-34, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

 

Years later, I still need to remind myself of that truth. I don't need to let the big picture overwhelm me. I'm worried about my future and about heaven, but that is only sucking the joy out of my life today. God knows it all. God cares for me; He's got it under control. God Himself commands me in Scripture NOT to worry about tomorrow, but to focus only on today! If I choose to give up and not push through, my enemy would win.

 

Wow!

 

I am in awe, yet again. My Father knows me so well that He could reveal such a powerful truth to me through a fictional story written in 1999.  What a mighty God we serve!

 

So here's to living life. Here's to pushing through. Here's to coping.



Questioning God

"'O Sovereign LORD, what good are all your blessings when I don't even have a son?'" - Genesis 15:2a

 

Have you ever questioned God?

 

Lately, that's what I've been doing. Today, due to the advice of a professor, I began reading through Genesis with the intent of seeing it as what it is--a narrative. What I learned from this exercise is incredibly challenging and so very much like my God.

 

Abraham's story begins in Genesis 12. And what an interesting story it is. In chapter 12, God calls Abram out of his land and promises to make Abram a great nation. However, at the first sign of trouble, Abram gets scared. He lies to Pharaoh and says that his wife, Sarai, is actually his sister. In chapter 13, Abram and his nephew Lot decide to part ways due to conflict between their herdsmen. After they part, God reaffirms His promise to make Abram a great nation. Uncle Abram comes to Lot's rescue in chapter 14 and then, in chapter 15:1, God tells Abram "Do not be afraid, Abram, for I will protect you, and your reward will be great." Abram's response surprised me. In 15:2, Abram said to God, "O Sovereign LORD, what good are all your blessings when I don't even have a son?"

 

Wait. What was that?

 

Abraham--the father of nations, the man remembered in Hebrews for his great faith--questioned God's goodness. He had received a promise from God and that promise was affirmed two more times. But Abram wasn't seeing anything happen. As far as he understood, in order to be a great nation, he had to have an heir. Abram was painfully aware of the fact that he did NOT have an heir. He couldn't see how God's promise could ever come to fruition. God's response amazed me and put a smile on my face.

 

In 15:5 it says that "the Lord took Abram outside and said to him, 'Look up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That's how many descendants you will have!'" God heard Abram's doubts and fears and, in response, He lovingly affirmed the truth. I picture God in such a real way here, putting His arm around Abram and leading Him outside, stretching out His hand to show Abram the wonder of His promise.

What happened next was even more amazing to me.

 

In 15:6 it says "Abram believed the LORD, and the LORD counted him as righteous because of his faith." Did you catch that? Abram questioned God's goodness 4 verses ago, God comforted him and told him what was true, and then Abram BELIEVED God. Even though he was questioning God's goodness, Abram believed what God told Him was true. This made me realize something.

 

Although I am questioning God's goodness right now, although I don't understand a lot of things right now, I know what God says in His Word is true. So although it doesn't FEEL like it is true right now, I can believe God ANYWAY.

 

God has lovingly put His arm around me, smiled, and said, "Korrin... my plan is so much greater than what you can see right now. Just know that what I say is true and will be realized sometime in the future. Trust me."

 

This is so much easier said than done, but I am so blessed to have an amazing God who accepts my questioning and loves and comforts me through it. I may not feel like everything He is doing right now is good, but I can believe that it is anyway because of what He says in His word. What an amazing God He is!